Sobfest

This Thursday feels like a sobfest in the studio for me. I started off with doing work that I don't have to start on yet... And then, I started watching a proposal video. That sparked off my tear glands. They are not very happy today. After which, I started reading blogs of widows... And that didn't sit too well either. My tear glands are still working pretty hard today.

I wonder how my customers will react if they see me weeping silently outside the studio when they exit the studio.

There are so many thoughts going through my mind right now. My emotions are in an absolute turmoil.

It is scary to be in a relationship. You end up baring your soul to someone so foreign yet so close to you at the same time. It's been 6 years now. But does it make me feel any better to bare my soul to someone else? Not always. I feel exposed and vulnerable and easily hurt most of the time. But he's so impossible to leave. He's so impossible to reject. He's so impossible to not love.

It is also extremely scary to be in a business with the same guy you're in a relationship with. There are so many what if's. There's so much tension most of the time. There's so much fear. And you bare yourself a lot more than you're supposed to just because you're in a business with him. There's so much insecurities, so much fear, so much that can go wrong.

I hope nothing goes wrong.