About May

So the blogpost about Hanoi never did happen. I still love Hanoi and I still love whatever I've done there, but I think I won't do a blogpost about that for now.

Let's, instead, talk about my eventful month.

It's been a crazy month, it has. I joined a competition, I lost the competition. Launched a new collection for my online shop, not doing well. Lots of conflicts, arguments, unhappiness, sadness, disappointments and adjustments. Let's just say May has been an extremely painful month for me. But I'm nowhere near giving up.

I am now working to readjust my lifestyle by looking at potential funding opportunities, working doubly hard for my online shop, trying to ignore as much negativity as possible and I really just want to make my Birthday Month a happier month.

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I've been tired. It's been tiring trying to act like someone who's permanently energetic and happy like 99% of the time. The rest of the time I either blow up at something or someone, or I simply sit on my bed and cry. It's been so tiring.

People asked me if I was okay after losing the competition. I guess you could say I was okay. I wasn't upset, I wasn't crying, I wasn't extremely sad. But yes, I was disappointed. I mean the competition was kind of our only hope to funding the business. It was painful to lose that only string of hope you held on to for the last 3-4 months. But I do hope that the businesses who won the funds really make good use of it in the near future. The last thing I hope to do is to lose this to people who didn't want it as much as we did. But that's life.

You've got to deal with things you dislike.

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You know. I am just an average girl. I like surprises, I like gifts, I like fashion, I like the Internet, I like the sound of typing on my keyboard, I like my iphone, I love my friends, I love my boyfriend, I love my family...

And sometimes it feels like the average girl has to take on a lot more than she can take. It happens a lot and it's pretty exhausting.

But the average girl always has to learn how to be strong, how to be resilient to hurt and disappointment... She has to love herself.

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And this post makes no sense at all. It is perfectly disjoint and incoherent. But it's just the way an average girl likes it.

So let's just leave it as that and I'll see you guys soon again.

♥