Day 3

Hi baby,

Happy 8.5 years to you! It's been a long and exhausting day at work and it will be another long day tomorrow... Guess we won't be celebrating the day but it's okay! I hope we will still find joy in something we do together tomorrow.

I've been feeling very frustrated and easily angered the last 2 days. I'm not too sure why but I realize I take it out on you a lot. I am sorry.

You know, sometimes, a little voice in me suggests that I hope to lead a normal life with you whereby we walk hand in hand together all the time, meet twice or thrice a week for date nights and earn a stable income so that we get to spend more time with each other and not feel so guilty about spending money.

But it is a very quiet voice. A larger part of me still knows that I am doing what I love and even though I'm not making much out of it, at least I am still following the path I wanted to and at least I am still passionate about my life. I think that is important.

Money is such a sensitive topic these days. I hate any topic about having not enough money. I hate it because I try my best to work to my bones but it is still hard to bring enough money each month. I hate it because this stupid money issue brings me back a lot of horrid memories and truthfully each time, we talk about a lack of money, the traumatic experience from my childhood hits me with such ridiculous force..

And it tires me so much. I really really want to get out of this vicious cycle of not having enough money.

Love,
Vilvian